It’s been very difficult to find time to update! I have now officially given Mae 3 suckers in order to try to write this. Some of you I’ve spoken to and know the general updates but there are many who don’t. Unfortunately, I will have PLENTY of time to be posting (and picking at my nails, daydreaming, staring off into space..) because it’s pretty much official that I will be going in patient at 28 weeks, which is most likely going to be Monday, July 29. I will stay until after delivery which is tentatively scheduled for Monday, August 26. The exact dates might change, especially if something changes with how the girls are doing. I think I’ve been in denial about having to leave my home even though I say it out loud quite often. Really having to prepare the kids, my house, myself and actually going there and everyone else leaving me and the girls behind, well, it’s hard to believe. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Only my oldest is aware that I will be going and Polly in particular is going to lose her mind. Little Mae Mae will be sad too, but since she’s only 2, time is relative to her. Polly is SO ATTACHED to me. I’ve been home a lot this Summer so really they will all have a difficult time. I’m the momma! I know that it will go by quickly and we will all be fine, I really do. THANK GOD IN HEAVEN for my sisters. All of them. Matt’s too. I can hardly stand thinking about how taxing this will be on everyone and I’m almost embarrassed to say on here how grateful I am for help already being offered because it will never be enough thanks or will never properly convey my gratitude. Lest anyone think it’s any small feat, my sisters helping me, let me give you a quick run down: One sister has 8 children, including a 1 year old; one sister has a 3 week old, a 2 yr. old and her husband is out of town until mid-Sept; another sister is due the day after I’m scheduled to have the girls and has 5 other young children; and one just had surgery on her back/neck and is dealing with complications! They are all my heroes. The other day Laura got to business starting a group calendar for my sisters to help with the kids and that same day I ran into one of Matt’s SILs who told me they could make meals etc. My first instinct was to say, “NO NO, we’ll be fine!” But then I had to swallow the .2% of pride I have left and say instead, “that would be so nice”. Because I have to think of Matt and the kids. I know my husband’s sisters love him and I love them. I just feel guilty accepting ANYTHING from ANYONE. But the gratitude outweighs the guilt, I promise!
To try to answer the obvious questions, the reason we believe I have to go in is that since Georgetta will be viable and not only that has a very good chance of having minimal complications if born after 28 weeks, it is just too much of a risk to monitor the girls on an out patient basis. It’s hard to understand for most people because 1) the girls are not monitored 24/7 anyway and 2) there is nothing “wrong” now. I try to explain it like this: It’s an odds thing, the odds of noticing something going wrong are greater if I’m there full time. The babies will be monitored for cord blood flow/other issues at least 3x per day and likely 1-2 hours each time. The ultrasound equipment will be right outside my door if anything sounds ‘off’. I will be right there in the event something should happen and we actually notice it on ultrasound or in monitoring. Also, it’s like this: Georgetta’s LIFE is WORTH me being gone for four extra weeks, whether we catch something or not. Plain and simple. We are giving her the best possible chance. Even if something happens and God forbid we didn’t catch it even being in the hospital, I will always believe it was worth going, to at least try. The drs. say that we simply cannot have that amount of monitoring on an out patient basis. It’s quite a strange deal because I’m not going to be on bed rest. So I asked yesterday whether I’ll be a prisoner in my room or what. She laughed and said that I do have to stay on the hospital grounds or campus but other than that, as long as it’s not a monitoring time, I can wander around (in my mind I imagine me in my running clothes running the hospital corridors–I’m not kidding) and there is even a playground outside! I was quite happy to hear that. I hope the kids can come visit often but that too will be hard on everyone driving them since it’s not exactly close to home and my poor hubby has been working tremendously long hours.
My former nanny was here the other day and couldn’t help but laugh when thinking of me sitting still for a month. She apparently didn’t consider me running laps in the hospital. I just think I have so much organizing of things and arranging of things to do that I will be ok in that regard. The funeral and service for one. I want to celebrate Laurencia’s life. Also, I’ll have to plan the birth day a bit more, how it will all work with my family etc. I really can’t imagine sitting there watching TV or movies all day but if anyone has any FUNNY movie suggestions I’ll take them. 🙂 “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion” –though I will NOT be watching <—that movie, I meant funny with no sad endings please.
I had two appts. last week and one this week. Here are two photos of Georgetta from last week (they didn’t give me any of Laurencia):
Gosh, she just looks SO MUCH like Mae to me. Last week they saw one reading of Laurencia’s cord flow that was ever so slightly elevated. This is the kind of thing they look for since it could mean the cords are compressing. This week they didn’t see anything of the sort. I was a bit concerned yesterday when I went in because all day the day before I only felt movement (lots of it) on my right side, which is where Laurencia had been as of last week. I was feeling nothing on the left side. Turns out that they switched places, Georgetta’s head is down and her feet are presently kicking my right ribs. Little Laurencia was tucked way down sort of under her so I was right in that nobody was really on the left. During the appt. Laurencia totally flipped and her head is now in my left ribs and her feet are down. Crazy girls. Here are profile views from yesterday:
Georgetta Katerina Laurencia Rachel
Matt and I both get the sense from the docs that going in at least by 28 weeks would give Georgetta the best chance. All of the studies that have been done on monoamniotic twins conclude that the rate of survival is nearly 30% higher than if not going in. Look at her, do you think she’s worth it 😉 ?
Here at home we are trying to get some yard work done and the kids will be done with all of their baseball and softball pretty much the day I go. Gabby’s softball team made it to the state tournament for her league, and that takes place next weekend. I’ve already taken the four kids school clothes shopping. They are so young that even just getting one or two things makes them happy. I’ll have to go get the supplies some time in the next week. If Georgetta makes it to Aug. 26th, I won’t be home until the end of that week and school starts the next week! We will likely have the funeral service the first week of school, which I was hoping to avoid but as with everything, it will just have to be ok.
I’m going to end with a list of things for which I am thankful, since I’m always sounding so…sad. The fact that good things still happen and that our lives are still beautiful will never take away my sadness. It’s not as if one negates the other. But still, I think of the good things a lot too, and thought I should share some of those with you:
1. Georgetta is doing well and has no other complications as of now
2. My body is strong enough to hold these babies and has treated me well despite my whining and complaining
3. My SISTERS
4. All FIVE of my other kids are DONE with stupid, rotten, stinky, smelly, awful, horrible chicken pox (wait, that bordered on negative didn’t it?)
5. My husband has a job and provides for us so selflessly, works so terribly hard and will handle my being gone with strength and grace
6. My church and community and friends. Almost every day someone tells me they are praying for us. What a pure and wonderful gift.
7. My job and colleagues. Wonderful people, you would almost not believe that in this day and age co-workers would say and do the things my colleagues have
8. The great care I’ve received to date from the clinic where I go
9. The way health care workers have treated our Laurencia and the way I know they will handle her birth and death
10. The knowledge we have that going in might save Georgetta’s life and our ability to have me go and that we live in an amazing country and have the best care possible
We have another appt. Friday, a big one with measurements. Lots of appts. (dentist etc.) for the kids next week and lots of organizing to do. I’ll try to update if I can.
Katrina and the girls