Saturday and Sunday and Settling In

Yesterday was rather busy trying to get acclimated and make necessary arrangements.  Lots of phone calls and e-mails and paperwork and monitoring and figuring.  Monitoring thus far is going better.  By better I mean we’re able to find the heartbeats and keep them on the monitor for about an hour, which is what the nurses and drs. want to see.  They are trying to see proper HR acceleration/deceleration over time to be able to make longer term comparisons and see if anything becomes out of the ordinary.  Tomorrow morning we’ll have an ultrasound to check cord blood flow and everything else.

Me and my girls in my room this morning:

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Look who came to visit me all afternoon, my favorite people on Earth:

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Matt took all of the kids to church and then brought them down here again.  We went to the onsite Subway–we are so very appreciative of the Subway gift cards we received from generous friends!  We then went to the really nice gift shop in the new  wing and the kids got to choose a “stuffy” which they can hug if they are missing me.  Polly REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted that giant roundy ball penguin (aside: we compared it to my tummy, I think I win) so I bought it for her for all of the helping she has been doing.  She has been so sweet, bringing me something every day and helping with Mae.  Bella too has been helping more with Mae.  Gabby was busy all weekend at her tournament and Wyatt is as usual always on the lookout for Mae the runaway.  He’s so protective of her.  Bella called me tonight to tell me that if I need anything she wants to bring it like Polly has been doing because she wants to help too.  I told Polly what a good influence she’s being :).

Tonight Polly called me several times and this last time I told her to hug her penguin if she was too sad.  Her voice just kills me, how badly she needs me there.  She said that she had to go in her room and cry and she was hugging him so hard ;(  She’ll be ok though, we are doing lots of things to help them through.  Gabby called just now as well and she said she’s so sad, she wishes I could be home for their last month before school starts.  She also said that Mae Mae was looking for me in the house.  Break my heart.  After Subway and the gift shop we went outside to the very nice new playground and played in the gorgeous weather for quite some time.

Me and my 7 kids:

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The good/bad thing about being here is that I am able to really focus on what is to come.  I appreciate being able to just spend time with Laurencia and Georgetta, quiet time.  I get to feel Laurencia kick and hear her heart beating 3x per day.  Today I recorded it so we can save it.  But in doing so, in enjoying and really being able to feel her, the sadness sometimes becomes rather intense and I guess it should or is inevitable. I just have so much more time to think by being here not doing my normal running around, working or mom duties.  I’m so fortunate that I’m not on strict bed rest though so I can go outside or walk the grounds at least a bit rather than hyper focus on being sad.   I’m trying now to document Laurencia’s last days with us.  Even typing that is hard.  I realized today I have to take these photos and videos because this is it.  This place is the last place our family will be all together at least “this side of Heaven”, as they say.

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On the day they are born hopefully we will have some time with her before she leaves us, but no matter what, this will be the place.  So again, I am appreciative of this time, to be able to take the videos and photos and really pay attention to my baby girls.  Everything I was doing at home was becoming physically difficult but it never occurred to me that I may have needed to slow down not just for physical relief but also just so that I could focus on my little lamb before she is born.  Only four weeks left.  No matter what, four weeks from tomorrow.  What would you do with your life or how would you handle your child’s life if you knew you only had four weeks left?  We are finding our way, day by day.

Love to everyone.  Have a blessed week.

Katrina

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4 thoughts on “Saturday and Sunday and Settling In

  1. My prayers go out to you! I had mono-mono twin boys 4yrs ago (at 32 wks). Seven weeks in the hospital away from my other four boys and husband was stressful enough–then add the concern for the twins health. I can empathize with you on that level! It is a whole other matter to have the pain anticipating the short life of one of you babies. Cling to God’s promises. He has a plan which is not always clear to us. Continue to say “yes” to Him. You will see your dear child through the eyes of her twin. A child is a blessing, to carry two is an extra special blessing. We all wish to raise saints, your baptized twin will be your first achievement. You gave her life—said YES to life–, she will help you from heaven!
    P.S. if you want any advice for hospital time, let me know!

    • Thank you Victoria for the kind words. This made me cry early this morning but in a good way. We try desperately to raise our children in a saintly way and I always feel as though it’s never enough. Your words are true though, she will be, so thank you for the reminder. God bless, Katrina

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