Happy Spring Everyone! Been busy planting flowers and whistling with the birds who chirp outside my window. La la la, happy sunshine and rainbows. Oh…wait…nevermind…it hasn’t cracked 40. There are still ugly piles of dirty snow standing as wretched reminders of the WORST WINTER EVER. The forecast calls for a blizzard some time this week. I don’t even want to know so I don’t check the weather reports. It’s April for the love of Pete. It’s getting ridiculous. Everyone is crabby about it. We’re about to stage a revolt around these parts but are too freaking cold. So, until we thaw out, we’ve been making the best of our indoor time. And that mostly involves getting Valencia to giggle, then giggling back. It’s not difficult. Girlfriend was CREATED to giggle. This video doesn’t even do justice to her belly laughs. I caught her after her and Daddy had been doing it for a while.
Last weekend I had just the 3 littles since Auntie Laura took the 3 bigs on an adventure (yay for Aunties!). So naturally, we decided to put on pretty tea party/Easter dresses and pretend it was Spring, inside. Yes, those are bloomers Valencia is wearing. They used to be Gabby’s! Gabby, my girl who got braces this week and registered for MIDDLE SCHOOL. Boo hoo. Back to my tea party girls.
Polly had the idea of wearing tiaras and brought me this little doll tiara from her doll clothes stash. I knew I could get it to stick in Valencia’s “hair” by putting her tiny tuft of bangs into a top piggytail and wedging the comb part of the tiara in.
It stayed all day! Ah ha ha! The ladies at the YMCA got a kick out of these three. So did I. The outfit Valencia is wearing is supposed to be a dress (3 month size) but it fits more like a shirt now. She’s getting SO BIG! It was from a very good friend who lost her precious babies to miscarriage. This sweet flowery outfit was for her girly. She waited so long for a baby girl and never got to meet her. Ever so graciously, after Valencia and Laurencia were born, she sent this to me with a beautiful note about how she’s finally able to part with the clothing she bought for her babes. She wanted a little girl to wear it and Valencia did so proudly, thanks CM.
I went for a run today and, of course, was thinking of Laurencia. I decided that when I run it’s my time with her. When I’m doing just about anything else there are so many distractions. Even being at home in bed, I await Valencia’s cry to feed her, I wrestle with the lists of things I need to do the next day. But when I run, I’m free. I clear my head and get to make plans and “talk” to my girl. She runs with me, I imagine. Today when I was almost home I had the very distinct thought, “I’M SO LUCKY I HAD YOU”. So lucky. It was a big deal to me to think this. It surprised me because I remember running while I was pregnant and I’d get so upset. I did not feel lucky. Not at all. I wanted her to get to stay here, I wanted things to be different. I still had so much worry and concern. But now I realize more every day, it could have been different. It could have been that I never even knew she existed. So many babies are miscarried, twins, where the mother doesn’t even know there was another baby! And so many babies don’t make it to birth. But we were lucky. We got to see her moving on ultrasound. I got to feel her kick me. I got to hold her and smell her and feel her soft velvety fingers in my hands.
I got to know her, at least a little. I wanted more, so much more. But for what we had and what we have, we are lucky.
I signed up to run Goldy’s 10 mile race (http://goldysrun.com) in two weeks. It was Laurencia’s godmother’s idea so she’s running it too! The race benefits the hospital where L and V were born. Amplatz was so good to my kids while I was in the hospital. So many special little things they did for the kids to get their minds off of the fact that mommy wasn’t coming home for a few weeks. I love that I can support them now. I looked up the race course yesterday for the first time. Get this, I will be running on EXACTLY the same street where I took walks every day when I was in the hospital. L and V were with me on those walks. How fitting that I can re-trace my steps in honor of my girl. Her life will impact the lives of little ones at the hospital. This makes me smile. If you’re not busy, consider joining me!
And speaking of my Laurencia, her life and legacy…and of running…..I have a big announcement in the works. Stay tuned.